How to Coach Your Child: A Handbook for Indian Parents

How to Coach Your Child: A Handbook for Indian Parents
4 min read

Series · 19 partsStart with Part 1 →

Your child is struggling with school, and you feel the weight of expectations pressing down on both of you. You want to guide them, but the path is murky. I’ve seen parents grapple with this, often caught between wanting to push their child and fearing they’ll push too hard. This series reflects my thoughts on coaching your child through the unique challenges we face as Indian parents. I’ll share insights from my experiences, both as a father and a mentor. Start with the introduction, or jump to the topics that resonate most with your current situation. Let’s navigate this together.

The Framework

  1. Introduction to Coaching Your Child: I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the delicate balance between guiding our children and giving them the space to grow into their own person.
  2. How to Use This Handbook: I’ve been thinking a lot about the role we play as parents, educators, and even investors.
  3. The Parent as Coach: I’ve been reflecting on the role of parents in nurturing their children, particularly in the context of the Indian upbringing many of us are familiar with.
  4. The Long Game: I saw a young founder the other day, one of those bright-eyed dreamers who comes into my office with the air of someone who thinks they’ve just cracked the code to the universe.

Understanding Feelings

  1. Feelings Are Not Orders: I’ve been thinking about Myra, a six-year-old I watched at a wedding in Jaipur.
  2. Acknowledge Without Agreeing: I’ve been thinking about the way we, as parents and mentors, often misinterpret what it means to truly acknowledge someone else’s feelings.
  3. The Story You Only Hear Half Of: I’ve been thinking a lot about stories lately, not the kind you find in books or movies, but the ones we live every day.

Setting Boundaries

  1. Limits Without Humiliation: I’ve been reflecting on the intricate dance of parenting and the distinct line between setting limits and inflicting humiliation.
  2. The Swing Between Harshness and Guilt: I was sitting at my desk yesterday, gazing out the window, when I was reminded of a conversation I had with a parent a few weeks ago.

Building Autonomy

  1. Autonomy Inside an Indian Home: Last week, I found myself in a heated discussion with a dear friend over a cup of chai.
  2. Choices, Small Failures, and Real Agency: I’ve been reflecting on a scene that is all too familiar in Indian households.

Education Pressure

  1. Marks, Tuition, and the Fear of Falling Behind: I’ve been thinking about the pressure we place on our children with marks, tuition, and the ever-looming fear of falling behind.

Family Dynamics

  1. Siblings, Cousins, and Comparison: I’ve been thinking a lot about siblings and cousins lately, especially in the context of comparison.

Modern Challenges

  1. Screens Without a Sermon: I’ve been thinking about the perennial tug-of-war between parents and children over smartphones.

Handling Emotions

  1. Anger, Tantrums, and the Watching Relatives: I’ve often found myself pondering over the spectacle of a child’s tantrum.
  2. Praise That Does Not Trap: I’ve been reflecting on a conversation I had with a young founder, a bright engineer from Bangalore, who had just wrapped up his first product demo.

Daily Challenges

  1. Food, Sleep, and the Daily Power Struggles: I’ve often found that the grand battles of Indian parenting are fought over the simplest of things: a half-eaten roti left on a plate or a child who refuses to go to bed at the…

Practical Tools

  1. A Pocket of Scripts for the Week: As I stood in my kitchen this morning, sipping my first cup of chai, I was struck by how the small, everyday scripts we run through our lives often go unnoticed.
  2. A Week of Practice: I had a particularly enlightening week, one of those rare stretches of days where every little encounter seemed to align with a larger lesson.