Part 17 of 19 in How to Coach Your Child: A Handbook for Indian Parents← Part 16Part 18 →
I’ve been thinking a lot about stories lately—not the kind you find in books or movies, but the ones we live every day. In my practice as an IVF specialist and my role as an angel investor, I encounter stories all the time. Some are about success, others about failure, and many are somewhere in between. But here’s the thing: we often only get to hear half of these stories. And that half is usually the one that paints the teller in the best possible light.
Take, for instance, a conversation I had with a founder I backed a while ago. He came to me with a story of how his startup was struggling because of external factors: market conditions, competition, you name it. But as we dug deeper, it turned out there was another part to the story. Internal mismanagement and a lack of strategic focus were just as culpable. It struck me that this is not unlike what I see with patients in my clinic.
A patient might come in and say, “Doctor, we’ve tried everything, and we still can’t conceive.” But when we sit down and go through their medical history, lifestyle choices, and previous treatments, a fuller picture often emerges. Perhaps they were not as consistent with their treatment as they claimed, or maybe they overlooked certain lifestyle factors that could significantly affect their chances of conception. It’s not about blaming them; it’s about understanding the whole story so we can address the real issues.
In both cases, whether it’s a startup founder or an IVF patient, the half-story often comes from a place of vulnerability. We all have a natural inclination to present ourselves in the best light possible. After all, who wants to admit to their shortcomings, especially when they’re feeling exposed and vulnerable?
But here’s where the real value of honest dialogue comes in. When we create an environment where people feel safe enough to share their complete stories, we can work together to find better solutions. This is why I always stress the importance of transparency and honesty, whether I’m dealing with a patient or a startup.
Why does telling the whole story matter so much? Because, in my experience, the real solutions often lie in the parts we initially leave out. As an angel investor, I’ve seen startups pivot to success when they finally confront the internal issues they were avoiding. In medicine, I’ve seen patients achieve what they thought was impossible when they took a hard look at the factors they could control.
So how do we encourage people to tell the whole story? It starts with us, the listeners. We need to create a space where people feel safe to share even the parts they’re not proud of. This means withholding judgment and asking the right questions. “Is there a part you have not told me?” is a powerful question I often use, whether I’m in a board meeting or a patient consultation.
But let’s not pretend this is easy. It requires patience and a willingness to sit with discomfort. Many parents, for instance, jump to conclusions when their child comes home with a story about school. They either side with the child without question or dismiss their concerns altogether. In doing so, they often miss the opportunity to teach their children how to navigate complex social situations.
Imagine a child like Ritwik, coming home and telling his mother that the math teacher tore up his homework. His mother, acting on this half-story, may rush to the school, ready to defend her child. But what if, instead, she took a moment to ask, “Is there a part you have not told me?” This simple question might reveal that Ritwik had copied part of his assignment. Now, the conversation shifts—not to one of blame, but to one of learning and growth.
The same principle applies to startups. When founders share only the rosy parts of their story, they miss out on valuable feedback that could help them grow. As an investor, I much prefer a founder who is upfront about their challenges and mistakes. It shows me they’re willing to learn and adapt, qualities that are far more valuable than any polished pitch. I’ve written about this before here.
In the medical world, I’ve seen how patients who share their whole story tend to have better outcomes. They’re the ones who are open to exploring different treatment options and making necessary lifestyle changes. They’re also more likely to stick with their treatment plans because they’re actively engaged in the process.
So, the next time you find yourself in a situation where someone is sharing their story with you—whether it’s a child, a patient, or a startup founder—take a moment before you react. Ask yourself whether you’re hearing the whole story or just the part that makes them feel better. And then, ask them the same.
This approach won’t just improve your relationships; it will lead to better outcomes for everyone involved. And isn’t that what we’re all striving for, whether in medicine, business, or life in general?
In the end, the stories we tell ourselves and others are powerful. They can shape our reality, for better or worse. By committing to hearing and sharing the whole story, we open the door to real understanding and meaningful change. That’s a story worth telling.