Part 6 of 29 in Helping Your Children Learn: What Parents Need to Know← Part 5Part 7 →
Last week, I was reminded of a truth that I’ve seen play out countless times. A young patient came into my clinic with her mother. Her mother, a dedicated professional, mentioned how her daughter was struggling with schoolwork despite attending a reputable institution. The girl, let’s call her Ananya, had excellent grades but seemed lost when asked to apply the knowledge outside of the textbook context. This isn’t an isolated case. It’s a scenario I encounter often, both in the clinic and in conversations with founders I mentor. The disconnect between what schools teach and what children actually learn is stark, and it’s time we addressed it head-on.
Schools in India are as varied as the country itself. From government schools in small towns to elite institutions in metropolitan cities, they all share a common structure: an adult in front of a classroom, a syllabus to cover, and a test to administer. But this structure, while efficient for mass education, does not cater to individual learning needs. Ananya’s mother, like many parents, believed that the school would take care of her daughter’s education. But the real learning happens outside the school walls.
A good teacher can be a guiding light, but they cannot replace the role of a parent in a child’s education. Teachers have forty registers to fill; parents have the luxury of focusing on one child. When Ananya mentioned in passing that she didn’t quite understand fractions, it was a fleeting comment, easily lost in the daily rush. Yet, it was a critical moment, one that her mother could have seized to explore and understand her daughter’s struggles and interests.
Schools are designed to move a cohort through a syllabus, to compare and record, to treat learning as something that can be checked off a list. John Holt, an influential educator, argued that this approach reverses the natural order of learning. Schools start with the needs of the timetable, not the child. This institutional focus makes learning a task rather than a joy, a chore rather than a curiosity-driven exploration.
In many Indian households, this reversal is complete by Class 5. The child’s day is filled with school, homework that mirrors school, and tuition that rehashes both. There’s no room for slack, no space for a child to reread a page out of sheer interest or to try a sum a different way because the first way felt awkward. Without this slack, the only learning that survives is the one that can be quickly performed for a grade.
Being a hands-on parent doesn’t mean re-teaching what the school has covered. It means engaging with your child on a deeper level. Ask them about their day, not just about their assignments. Understand which subjects make them light up and which ones cause them to withdraw. Know the names of their friends who make learning enjoyable. If you don’t do this, you risk letting the school’s limited view become the only picture of your child.
Schools often miss the nuances of a child’s intellect and creativity. They see compliance, handwriting, and test scores, but they might overlook the child who can explain the intricacies of a cricket match to relatives yet struggles with the same logic when it’s labeled “permutations” in a math problem. You live with that child. The school only visits her for a few hours each day.
Consider this: what does the school know about your child that you do not, and what do you know that the school never will? This is not to undermine the role of schools but to highlight the importance of parental involvement. Education is a collaborative effort. Schools lay the foundation, but parents build upon it.
In my experience, both as a doctor and an investor, I’ve learned the value of asking questions and nurturing curiosity. Just as in medicine, where a diagnosis is built on understanding the patient’s history and symptoms, a child’s education needs to be tailored to their unique abilities and interests. It’s about fostering an environment where questions are welcomed, not shunned; where exploration is encouraged, not stifled.
Parents have the unique advantage of being able to see their children in contexts beyond academics. They can observe how their child interacts with the world, how they solve problems in everyday life, and where their natural talents lie. This holistic view is something a school, with its limited resources and rigid structure, cannot provide.
I’ve seen parallels between education and startups. In both, the initial idea or syllabus is only a starting point. The real growth happens when you iterate, when you pivot based on feedback and new insights. Just as a startup can’t rely solely on its initial business plan, a child’s learning journey can’t be left solely to school. It needs to be nurtured, adapted, and expanded upon at home.
In one of my previous posts, I discussed the micro-school revolution. This is an approach that addresses the need for personalized education, offering a more tailored learning experience that aligns with a child’s interests and pace. While not everyone can create or afford a micro-school, the underlying principle is something every parent can adopt: take an active role in your child’s education.
In conclusion, the responsibility of education cannot be outsourced entirely to schools. Parents need to be active participants, guiding and supplementing the institutional learning with real-world applications and emotional support. This is not only beneficial for the child but also rewarding for the parent. It allows for a deeper connection and understanding, laying the groundwork for a lifelong love of learning.
As I reflect on Ananya and her mother, I am reminded of the immense potential within every child, waiting to be unlocked through curiosity, encouragement, and involvement. The question is, are we, as parents, ready to take that step beyond the school gate and into the world of our children?