I’ve been reflecting on humility lately, a quality that seems increasingly rare in both the worlds I navigate—IVF and angel investing. It struck me just last week, as I sat across from a patient whose journey with IVF had been anything but smooth. She had faced multiple cycles, each one presenting its own set of challenges, yet she sat there with a calmness that belied the turbulent seas she had navigated. It made me think: IVF patients are some of the best teachers of humility.
As an IVF specialist, I’ve had the privilege of accompanying many patients through the rollercoaster of emotions that reproductive treatment entails. The process is grueling—physically, emotionally, and often financially. It’s a journey filled with hope, disappointment, and resilience. But more than anything, it is a journey that demands humility—an acceptance of the limits of one’s control and the unpredictability of life. In this, I see a mirror to the world of startups, where founders too grapple with uncertainty and the capricious nature of markets.
Humility in IVF patients often begins with the recognition that nature has its own timeline. Despite our best efforts, success can be elusive. Patients learn to respect the process, understanding that despite all the science, there are factors beyond our control. This acceptance fosters a kind of humility that is rare in today’s world where control is often equated with power.
In contrast, many founders I encounter in my role as an angel investor are at the other end of the spectrum. They’re not just trying to control their own fate but to reshape the world. While this ambition is admirable, it often comes with a certain hubris—a belief that if they just work hard enough, they can bend reality to their will. The truth, however, is that the market, much like nature, is unpredictable. The sooner founders learn this, the better equipped they are to pivot, adapt, and ultimately succeed. This is where they could learn from IVF patients, who have already mastered the art of adapting to circumstances beyond their control.
Understanding the limits of control is not just a lesson in humility but a practical strategy. In IVF, patients who accept that not every cycle will result in pregnancy are often better prepared for the emotional toll that follows a failed attempt. Similarly, founders who understand that not every venture will succeed are better prepared to handle failure and bounce back stronger. This is the emotional resilience I often talk about and why startups should learn from the emotional resilience of IVF patients.
But here’s where the comparison takes an interesting turn. While IVF patients are taught humility through the unpredictability of biology, founders should learn it through the unpredictability of markets. Both scenarios require trust—trust in the process, trust in oneself, and sometimes, trust in the unknown. I’ve often told my IVF patients to trust their instincts. The same advice applies to founders. It’s about balancing the data with gut feeling, a lesson in humility that acknowledges we don’t—and can’t—know everything.
This isn’t to say IVF patients are paragons of virtue while founders are misguided. Far from it. Each group has something to teach the other. IVF patients could use a dose of the bold ambition that fuels startup founders. Sometimes, they need to be reminded that it’s okay to want more, to push the boundaries, and to believe that they too can reshape their destiny. On the flip side, founders could benefit from the quiet strength and patience that IVF patients develop over time—the kind that comes from knowing that even if this cycle or this startup doesn’t work out, there’s always another chance.
In the end, humility isn’t about giving up control; it’s about recognizing the limits of control and working within those bounds. The best IVF patients—and the best founders—are those who can navigate these waters with grace and resilience. They know that while they can’t control every outcome, they can control their response to it. That’s the lesson in humility that both worlds can learn from each other.
Reflecting on this brings me back to the patient I saw last week. Her journey with IVF hasn’t been easy, yet she embodies a quiet confidence and acceptance that I find inspiring. It’s a reminder that humility isn’t a weakness; it’s a strength that comes from facing the unknown and embracing it. In that sense, IVF patients are indeed the best teachers of humility—not just for founders, but for all of us navigating the complexities of life and work. And perhaps, if we can learn this lesson well, we will be better prepared for whatever challenges lie ahead, whether in the clinic or the boardroom.