I’ve been thinking a lot about what I tell my IVF patients, especially when they’re at the start of their journey. It’s not just about the science, the medications, or the procedures. It’s something more fundamental, something that transcends medicine and touches on a life lesson that is just as relevant in the world of startups as it is in the world of fertility treatments. I tell them to embrace the journey, not just the outcome.
Last week, I met with a couple who had been trying to conceive for several years. They were exhausted, emotionally drained, and pinned all their hopes on IVF as their last resort. They were understandably laser-focused on the outcome: a baby in their arms. But I could see that this fixation on the end goal was robbing them of the opportunity to experience the journey in a more meaningful, less painful way.
IVF is a journey filled with highs and lows, much like the rollercoaster ride of founding a startup. It’s easy to get caught up in the relentless pursuit of that final goal, whether it’s a baby or a successful business exit. But in my experience, those who only focus on the outcome often find themselves overwhelmed by the emotional toll of the process. They miss out on the valuable lessons and personal growth that come from navigating the uncertainties and challenges along the way.
In my practice, I’ve seen it time and time again. Patients who embrace the journey, who allow themselves to experience the full spectrum of emotions, are often better equipped to handle setbacks. They build resilience, they learn to adapt, and they develop a deeper understanding of themselves and their relationships. This doesn’t mean they don’t feel the pain of a failed cycle or the joy of a successful one. It means they have a broader context within which to place these experiences.
This perspective isn’t just limited to IVF. It’s a mindset that I carry into my role as an angel investor. Founders, much like my IVF patients, are driven by a vision of success. They want to see their product in the hands of users, their company scaling, their dreams realized. But the path to that destination is fraught with risk, failure, and uncertainty. Founders who focus solely on the outcome often find themselves burnt out, disillusioned, or giving up too soon.
I’ve backed founders who learned to embrace the chaos, just like my IVF patients do. They understand that the journey is where the growth happens, where the real learning takes place. They’ve taught me that thriving on uncertainty is not just a survival tactic; it’s a competitive advantage. Founders should embrace the chaos.
This brings me to a common misconception: the belief that success in IVF or startups is binary—either you achieve the outcome, or you don’t. In reality, the journey is full of successes and failures, each of which contributes to the final outcome. The myth of the binary outcome oversimplifies a complex process and sets us up for disappointment.
When I see a patient or a founder, I see someone on a path that is uniquely theirs. The journey will test them and teach them in ways they might not anticipate. For my IVF patients, the journey might be about strengthening their relationship, developing patience, or finding a support network that sustains them. For founders, it might be about pivoting their business model, learning from a failed product launch, or building a team that can weather any storm.
In a world that often glorifies the end result, it’s easy to lose sight of the journey. But the journey is where life happens. It’s where we confront our fears, challenge our assumptions, and discover our true selves. It’s where we learn to find meaning in the process, not just in the outcome.
Consider this: a failed IVF cycle or a startup that doesn’t take off isn’t the end. It’s a chapter in a larger story. It’s an opportunity to reassess, to learn, and to grow. The journey, with all its unpredictability, offers us the chance to evolve in ways we never imagined.
In my conversations with patients, I encourage them to embrace the unexpected. To see each step not just as a means to an end, but as an integral part of their life’s tapestry. Embracing the unexpected can be liberating.
The same holds true for founders. The startup journey is rarely a straight line. It’s a series of pivots, setbacks, and breakthroughs. Founders who learn to navigate this terrain with an open mind and a willingness to adapt often find themselves better prepared for the challenges that lie ahead.
In both IVF and investing, there is a lesson to be learned from embracing the journey: the importance of resilience. Resilience isn’t just about bouncing back from failure; it’s about finding strength in the struggle, about using adversity as a stepping stone to growth.
So, to my IVF patients and the founders I mentor, I say this: don’t be so focused on the outcome that you miss the beauty of the journey. Embrace the uncertainty, the challenges, and the unexpected twists and turns. Let these experiences shape you, teach you, and guide you toward a deeper understanding of what truly matters.
As I reflect on my years of practice and investing, I realize that the most rewarding outcomes often come from the most challenging journeys. It’s not about reaching the destination as quickly as possible, but about savoring the journey and allowing it to transform us in ways we never expected.
In the end, whether it’s welcoming a new life into the world or building a successful company, the journey is where we find our true selves. It’s where we learn what we’re made of, and it’s where we discover the strength to keep moving forward, no matter what obstacles come our way.