Part 19 of 19 in How to Coach Your Child: A Handbook for Indian Parents← Part 18
I saw a young founder the other day, one of those bright-eyed dreamers who comes into my office with the air of someone who thinks they’ve just cracked the code to the universe. He was excited to show me a prototype, a new app that promised to “revolutionize” education. He spoke with the kind of fervor that’s infectious, and for a moment, I felt that familiar tug of optimism. But then, I had to stop him. “Do you know what real education reform looks like?” I asked. He paused, unsure of what I was getting at. And that’s when I realized how often we mistake ambition for understanding.
In both my roles as an IVF specialist and an angel investor, I’ve come to appreciate the importance of playing the long game. Whether it’s nurturing a new life or a new venture, the principles remain strikingly similar: patience, resilience, and a willingness to accept uncertainty. Yet, in our rush to achieve, we often overlook these foundational elements. We aim for quick wins, applause, and immediate results—much like the child who seeks a parent’s approval rather than understanding the value of the lesson itself.
Parenting, like investing, is a marathon, not a sprint. The child in your house is not a project and not a trophy. He is a person who will, fairly soon, have a room you do not enter and a decision you do not sign. The years before that are not for perfect obedience. They are for practice: practice in being told no without being insulted, practice in wanting without receiving, practice in owning a mistake that was not rescued, practice in hearing a parent say, “I shouted, the rule remains.”
This isn’t just about children. It’s about how we approach life itself. I’ve seen it in my practice with IVF patients, where the journey to parenthood can be fraught with setbacks and heartache. The couples who succeed are often those who understand that fertility treatment is not a linear path. It’s a winding road filled with unexpected detours, requiring a steadfast commitment to the process. Much like a startup founder who must pivot and adapt, they learn to embrace the journey rather than just the destination.
I’ve often drawn parallels between the resilience I see in my fertility patients and the grit required of startup founders. Both face immense challenges, and both must navigate the emotional highs and lows that come with their pursuits. In my experience, those who endure are the ones who have internalized the idea that setbacks are not failures but opportunities to learn and grow. As I tell my IVF patients, much like I would advise a struggling startup founder, it’s about staying the course and maintaining faith in the process, even when the outcome is uncertain.
In the context of education, we must ask ourselves: are we preparing our children for success or for life? In a world obsessed with instant gratification, we risk raising a generation ill-equipped to handle failure. As parents, our role is to coach, not to control. Ginott’s old distinction still holds in a Mumbai flat and a Patna joint family and a Bengaluru nuclear one. Feelings are acknowledged. Actions are limited. The parent stays in charge of the boundary and still talks to the child as someone worth talking to. That is coaching. It is slower than a slap and cleaner than a bribe. It does not require a gentle personality. It requires a few true sentences, kept on ordinary Tuesdays.
When I invest in a startup, I’m not just looking at the product or the market potential. I’m assessing the founder’s ability to withstand adversity, to adapt, and to learn. These are the traits that matter in the long run. A flashy pitch can catch my attention, but it’s the quiet determination and the ability to listen and learn that ultimately win my support. That’s why I often say I value emotional intelligence over business plans in startup pitches. You can read more about that in this post.
Education reform, much like investing, requires a paradigm shift. It’s not about producing compliant students who ace exams but nurturing curious minds that ask questions. Our current system, as I’ve discussed in “Is the Indian School System Failing Our Kids’ Curiosity?”, often stifles this natural inquisitiveness. The real work lies in creating environments where children are encouraged to explore, fail, and try again—skills that are invaluable in both life and entrepreneurship.
So, how do we play the long game in our lives, our careers, and our families? It begins with shifting our focus from immediate results to enduring values. It means embracing uncertainty and teaching our children, our patients, and our founders to do the same. It means having the courage to say, “I heard you. The answer is unchanged. The next step is yours.” And then, doing it again tomorrow, in front of whoever is watching, without offering the child up to them.
In the end, whether in parenting, medicine, or investing, it’s about building a foundation that can withstand the test of time. It’s about recognizing that success is not a straight line but a series of steps, each one a learning opportunity. The long game is not for the faint of heart, but for those willing to see beyond the immediate, to invest in the process, and to trust that the journey is as important as the destination.