Part 16 of 17 in Rethinking Childhood: An Indian Parent’s Guide
I remember sitting across from a startup founder, listening intently as he outlined his vision for a new venture. His eyes were filled with the excitement of possibility, and I couldn’t help but draw parallels to the many hopeful couples I meet in my clinic, each on the cusp of beginning their journey into parenthood. Both are at the start of a significant journey, full of unknowns, brimming with potential, and fraught with the possibility of failure.
I’ve often found that the lessons I learn from one domain enrich my understanding of the other. Just as with startups, the journey of raising a child is not about rushing to a finish line but about the thoughtful, deliberate steps you take along the way. In today’s world, where the pressure to excel can sometimes overshadow the joy of learning and growing, I believe it’s crucial to take a step back and reflect on the journey itself.
When I talk about starting your journey as a parent, I mean beginning with intention and awareness. It starts with seeing clearly. For a week, write down your child’s daily routine from waking to sleeping. Circle every hour you did not choose with care. This exercise might reveal more about your family’s dynamics than you’d expect. It could uncover the hours where external pressures dictate your child’s life, rather than thoughtful choices. In my experience, clarity often comes from observing without intervening. Sit on the floor and watch one hour of free play without instructing. It can be a powerful reminder of the innate curiosity and creativity children possess when left to their own devices.
I’ve seen in both medicine and investing that the role of a guide is less about providing answers and more about asking the right questions. Ask your child, “When do you feel most like yourself?” and listen to the end. It’s a question that respects their agency and acknowledges their perspective. Similarly, remove one comparison sentence from your mouth for the whole week. It’s a small step towards fostering confidence and individuality, rather than competition.
In the world of startups, founders often feel the pressure to constantly perform, to always be ‘on’. This pressure is not dissimilar to what children face in the academic rat race. It’s vital to carve out moments of presence and connection. Read one story aloud, even if your child can read. Eat one meal with no phones and no marks. These moments are where real connection and understanding are forged.
During the second week of your journey, shift your focus to giving time and respect. Cancel or skip one optional class and do not fill the gap with “work.” It’s a simple act of reclaiming time, allowing your child to explore their interests without the structure of a class. Offer two real choices a day and honour both. This practice cultivates decision-making skills and respect for their preferences. In my clinic, I’ve learned that empowering patients with choices often leads to better outcomes, as they feel more in control of their journey.
Every parent and investor knows that failure is part of the journey. Let a small failure stand. Do not arrive with the completed chart. This lesson in resilience is invaluable. In the same vein, replace “Go study” with “What’s the plan?” It transforms the act of studying from a chore to an opportunity for planning and agency.
As you move towards the end of the month, focus on making these practices a part of your family culture. Tell one relative, kindly, that you are not drilling a toddler or adding a sixth class. Keep a “real notebook” in the house for questions that are not for marks. It’s about creating an environment where learning is valued for its own sake, not just as a means to an end.
Much like in a startup, the culture you create at home is the bedrock for future success. Review the week with your child: What felt alive? What felt dead? These reflections can guide your family’s journey, helping you to adjust course as needed.
Drawing from my experiences in both IVF and investing, I’ve come to understand that starting a journey is about more than just taking the first steps. It’s about the intention, the observations, the questions, and the culture you foster along the way. And ultimately, it’s about being the adult who stays, who kneels, and who says, “You do not have to win the game of school to be worthy of a childhood. Learn. Play. Try. I am here.”
If you’re interested in how these principles apply across different domains, you might find it helpful to read about my approach to balancing education and technology or how a patient’s IVF journey made me a more empathetic investor. Each of these experiences has shaped my understanding of what it means to start a journey with intention and purpose.
In the end, whether you’re guiding a child or a startup, the most significant impact often comes from the smallest, most intentional steps. And those are the steps that truly define the journey.