Most people think an IVF doctor’s job is to make decisions for patients.
I see my role very differently.
Yes, I have spent decades studying reproductive medicine, and I have knowledge and experience that my patients don’t. But I don’t believe that automatically gives me the right to make life-changing decisions on their behalf.
Instead, I think of myself as a coach, guide, and trusted partner.
The Traditional Doctor-Patient Relationship
Medical colleges teach doctors to diagnose problems and prescribe solutions.
Patients in India reinforce this model.
They expect the doctor to tell them exactly what to do.
After all, that’s why they’re paying professional fees.
This makes consultations very efficient.
The doctor talks.
The patient listens.
The patient follows instructions.
Unfortunately, this model has one major flaw.
It works well only when there is one obvious right answer.
Infertility is rarely that simple.
There Is No Single “Right” Decision
Human reproduction is intensely personal.
Whether to continue IVF.
Whether to use donor eggs.
Whether to consider donor sperm.
Whether to adopt.
Whether to stop treatment.
These are not purely medical decisions.
They involve your values, your family, your finances, your emotions, your faith, and your dreams.
No doctor—however experienced—can decide these things for you.
Only you can.
Why I Don’t Make Decisions for My Patients ?
It would certainly be easier if I did.
It would save time during consultations.
Answering questions, discussing alternatives, and exploring uncertainties takes much longer than simply saying:
“This is what you should do.”
But I don’t believe that serves patients well.
The future is uncertain.
Even the best treatment plan can fail.
If I make the decision for you, and the cycle doesn’t succeed, you may understandably feel that I misled you—or worse, that I recommended a treatment because it benefited me rather than you.
That is not the kind of relationship I want with my patients.
My Job Is to Help You Make Better Decisions
I believe my responsibility is to give you:
Accurate information.
Honest advice.
Evidence-based recommendations.
Clear explanations.
Realistic expectations.
Then I encourage you to think carefully.
Discuss the options with your partner.
Reflect on your priorities.
Listen to both your head and your heart.
When the decision is finally made, it should be yours.
Not mine.
Information Therapy Gives You Control
One of the reasons we invest so heavily in patient education is that informed patients make better decisions.
The more you understand your diagnosis and treatment options, the less anxious you become.
Knowledge replaces fear.
Confidence replaces confusion.
You stop feeling like a helpless passenger and become an active participant in your own care.
That sense of control is enormously reassuring.
Don’t Underestimate Yourself
Many patients tell me:
“Doctor, I don’t have a medical background. How can I possibly understand all this?”
My answer is simple.
You are much more intelligent than you think.
Yes, the medical terminology can seem intimidating at first.
Yes, there is a learning curve.
But if you spend a little time reading reliable information, asking questions, and thinking carefully, you will be surprised by how quickly everything starts making sense.
Please don’t underestimate your ability to learn.
After all, nobody has a greater incentive to understand your treatment than you do.
The Importance of Reliable Information
The internet contains both excellent information and complete nonsense.
The challenge is knowing which sources to trust.
Choose websites that are transparent, evidence-based, and written by experienced fertility specialists—not marketing agencies.
Reliable information helps you distinguish between good medicine and clever advertising.
It also allows you to ask your doctor much better questions.
Ask Your Doctor for an Opinion—Not Permission
Many patients ask me:
“Doctor, what would you do if you were in my position?”
I’m always happy to answer.
I will gladly share my opinion.
But I also remind them that it is exactly that—my opinion.
The final decision belongs to them.
A good doctor provides guidance.
A great doctor empowers patients to make decisions they can live with peacefully, regardless of the outcome.
The Bottom Line
I don’t want patients who simply obey my instructions.
I want informed partners.
Patients who ask questions.
Patients who understand their options.
Patients who make decisions that align with their own values and priorities.
Because when you own your decision, you own your journey.
And whatever the outcome, you will have the peace of mind of knowing that you followed the right process.
That’s why I see myself not just as an IVF specialist, but as your coach and guide.
After all, the word doctor comes from the Latin word docere—which means “to teach.”
And I believe that teaching my patients may be the most important treatment I ever prescribe.
Please get your doubts resolved free using our AI-powered chatbot, built on Dr. Malpani’s 40 years of clinical expertise and experience:https://www.drmalpani.com/chat-w-chatbot/index.html.This will help ensure you’re on the right path, answer your questions whenever you need them, and could potentially save you significant time, money, and unnecessary treatment in the long run.