Patient: Dr. Malpani, my IVF cycle failed, and my doctor immediately suggested using donor eggs. He said it would increase my chances of success and be less stressful. But something about it doesn’t sit right with me. What do you think?
Dr. Malpani: I’m glad you’re asking this question because it’s something many patients struggle with. Let’s break this down step by step. First, I want to reassure you that a failed IVF cycle doesn’t automatically mean you need donor eggs or sperm. That’s a decision that should be made carefully, not rushed into.
Patient: But my doctor said the pregnancy rates are higher with donor eggs. Isn’t that true?
Dr. Malpani: Technically, yes. Younger eggs have a higher chance of implantation because they are genetically more robust. But that’s only part of the story. Just because something has a higher success rate doesn’t mean it’s the right choice for you. You need to ask yourself—do I really want to carry a child that isn’t genetically mine?
Patient: That’s what’s bothering me. I feel like I wasn’t given any other option. The doctor made it sound like using donor eggs was the obvious next step.
Dr. Malpani: That’s, unfortunately, a common tactic used by many IVF clinics. Instead of exploring why the cycle failed and if anything can be improved, they push patients toward donor gametes because it’s an easier solution—for them.
Patient: What do you mean by “easier for them”?
Dr. Malpani: Let’s be blunt—using donor eggs or sperm is more profitable for IVF clinics. It simplifies their work because younger donor eggs tend to lead to higher pregnancy rates. That means fewer failed cycles, happier statistics for their clinic, and more revenue.
Patient: That’s awful! I thought my doctor had my best interests in mind.
Dr. Malpani: I’m not saying all doctors are dishonest, but the reality is that IVF is a business. Many clinics operate with a “one-size-fits-all” mentality, pushing treatments that benefit them rather than tailoring care to you. Instead of addressing why your cycle failed—was it poor embryo quality? A lining issue? A transfer technique problem?—they simply shift to donor eggs and move on.
Patient: So you’re saying I might still have a chance with my own eggs?
Dr. Malpani: Absolutely. You deserve a thorough evaluation before making any major decisions. Did your doctor explain why the cycle failed? Did they analyze your embryo quality, your uterine receptivity, or your hormonal profile?
Patient: Not really. They just said my eggs were “probably poor quality” because of my age.
Dr. Malpani: See, that’s another problem. Age is a factor, but it’s not the only factor. Many women in their late 30s and early 40s still conceive with their own eggs, provided they get the right treatment. You need real data—your AMH levels, your follicle count, your embryo grading—to make an informed decision.
Patient: I wish I had asked more questions. I feel like I was rushed into making a decision.
Dr. Malpani: And that’s exactly why I emphasize patient autonomy. It’s your body, your child, your future—you should never feel pressured into making a life-altering decision without fully understanding your options.
Patient: But what if my egg quality really is poor?
Dr. Malpani: If that’s the case, we need to explore why. Is it age-related, or is it because of a medical condition like endometriosis? Are there ways to optimize your ovarian response? Have you tried a different stimulation protocol? If, after careful evaluation, it turns out that your eggs truly won’t work, then—and only then—should donor eggs be considered.
Patient: That makes sense. But what about sperm? I’ve heard of cases where men are advised to use donor sperm.
Dr. Malpani: The same principles apply. Sperm issues are often fixable, but clinics take the easy route by suggesting donor sperm instead of trying treatments like ICSI or surgical sperm retrieval like TESE. Again, the decision should be based on real data, not on convenience or profitability.
Patient: I never thought about the long-term emotional impact.
Dr. Malpani: And that’s another critical factor. Using donor eggs or sperm isn’t just a medical decision—it’s an emotional, psychological, and ethical one. If a couple is not mentally prepared for this, it can lead to serious distress later on. Some parents regret the decision, and in extreme cases, it can even affect their bond with the child.
Patient: That’s terrifying. I don’t want to make a choice I’ll regret.
Dr. Malpani: That’s why it’s so important to take your time. If you’re considering donor gametes, you should have in-depth counseling—not just a five-minute conversation where the doctor tells you, “This is better.”
Patient: I feel so much better after talking to you. I’m going to get a second opinion before making any decisions.
Dr. Malpani: That’s the smartest thing you can do. If you’d like a second opinion, you can fill out the form on our website with your reports, and I’ll provide a free second opinion here.
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