Most IVF patients are mature enough to understand that IVF cycles can fail, even when the doctor has done everything right. They know that biology is not mathematics, and that even a good embryo transfer does not guarantee a pregnancy.
What hurts patients is not the failure itself. What hurts them is what some doctors say after the failure.
Instead of being honest and compassionate, some doctors add insult to injury by blaming the patient. They may say things like, “You did not rest enough,” “You are overweight,” or “Your egg quality was poor.” These explanations are often unfair and unhelpful.
If these factors were truly important, why were they not discussed before the embryo transfer? Why mention them only after the cycle has failed?
This makes patients feel that the doctor is simply looking for excuses. It also damages their confidence in the doctor.
Even worse, after a failed cycle, some doctors suddenly recommend a long list of expensive tests, procedures, and add-ons, claiming that these will prevent failure in the next cycle. But this makes no sense. If these tests were genuinely necessary, why were they not advised before the first cycle? Surely, it is in everyone’s best interest that the IVF cycle succeeds the first time.
Patients are now becoming smarter. They understand that when a doctor changes the story after failure, it often means the doctor is covering up for poor judgment, poor lab quality, or lack of transparency.
This is why patients lose trust in IVF doctors.
The solution is simple: be honest before the cycle, transparent during the cycle, and compassionate after the cycle. Patients do not expect miracles. They expect truth.
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