I’ve found myself reflecting on an IVF cycle that didn’t turn out as planned. As I sat with the couple post-results, the room was thick with the weight of unmet expectations. They had done everything “right” — the consultations, the medications, the timing — yet the outcome was a negative test. It reminded me of the early days of angel investing, where a startup, despite having a promising pitch and a hardworking team, sometimes just doesn’t take off. There’s a raw, vulnerable parallel here between the two worlds I straddle: IVF and startups. Both demand resilience in the face of failure, and both teach us lessons we could not anticipate.
When an IVF cycle fails, it feels deeply personal, akin to a founder watching their brainchild struggle to gain traction. In my practice, I often emphasize to patients that a failed cycle is a medical outcome, not a personal failure. This distinction is crucial, yet frustratingly elusive when you’re in the midst of it. Similarly, in the startup ecosystem, failure is often worn as a badge of shame rather than a lesson learned. But the truth is, both in IVF and startups, failure often has more to do with factors beyond control — biological variability in the former, market dynamics in the latter.
I recall a particularly telling moment with a startup founder I had backed. The enthusiasm and energy he brought to the table were palpable. His product was innovative, and his team was competent. Yet, despite all these elements aligning, the market didn’t respond as anticipated. We had a candid conversation where he expressed feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt. It was eerily similar to the conversations I have with my IVF patients. The parallels between a founder’s journey and a patient’s are striking — both are marathons, not sprints, and both require a degree of mental fortitude that’s often underestimated.
A failed IVF cycle forces us to go back to the drawing board, much like a pivot in a startup. We assess the cycle, reviewing stimulation responses, egg retrieval outcomes, and embryo development. In startups, we look at market feedback, product iterations, and user engagement metrics. In both scenarios, the aim is to glean insights that can inform the next steps. We must ask: What worked? What didn’t? What can be optimized? These questions are the bedrock of resilience.
Let’s consider why embryos sometimes don’t implant despite seemingly ideal conditions. It’s akin to why a product doesn’t gain traction despite a well-executed launch. Chromosomal abnormalities in embryos aren’t visible under a microscope, just as market reception can’t always be forecasted in a pitch meeting. There are aspects of biology, like the uterine environment and timing, that mirror the unpredictable variables in a startup’s journey — consumer behavior, competitor actions, and economic shifts. The unpredictability is a shared characteristic, teaching us that control is an illusion, and adaptability is our ally.
When advising on next steps after a failed cycle, I encourage my patients to consider adjustments — tweaking stimulation protocols, evaluating the uterine cavity, and possibly discussing pre-implantation genetic testing. Correspondingly, I advise startups to consider pivoting their approach: refining their product, reassessing their target audience, or exploring new market segments. The key is not to assign blame but to gain clarity and plan strategically.
The emotional toll of a failed IVF cycle is significant. Patients experience grief, anxiety, and self-blame — emotions mirrored in a founder’s journey through a failing startup. I encourage both my patients and the founders I mentor to seek support. Whether it’s through therapy to process grief or coaching to navigate business challenges, external support can offer perspectives and strategies that are hard to see when you’re immersed in the problem.
One of the most challenging aspects of both IVF and startups is the waiting. It’s a test of patience and an exercise in managing expectations. My own IVF journey has taught me more about patience than any business strategy ever could. It’s about holding onto hope while staying grounded in reality. The same applies to startup founders: understanding that success doesn’t come overnight and that setbacks are part of the growth process.
I’m reminded of a patient who, after multiple failed cycles, eventually conceived. Her resilience was awe-inspiring. She taught me that the path to success is rarely linear. Similarly, I’ve seen startups that seemed doomed to fail make a spectacular comeback. The lesson here is that resilience, more than any other trait, is what often separates success from failure.
As I navigate these two worlds, I’m struck by how much they inform each other. What I learn from my patients, I apply to my role as an angel investor, and vice versa. The resilience required in IVF — the ability to face failure and keep trying — is the same resilience that fuels a startup founder’s journey. If there’s one takeaway I can offer, it’s this: whether it’s a failed IVF cycle or a faltering startup, the story isn’t over until you decide it is. Keep learning, keep adapting, and keep moving forward.