Part 20 of 29 in Helping Your Children Learn: What Parents Need to Know← Part 19Part 21 →
I’ve been thinking a lot about what we need to stop and start, particularly in the context of education and parenting. Last week, I found myself in a conversation with a bright young founder who shared her frustration with the rote learning system that dominates our education landscape. She lamented how it stifled creativity and curiosity, and I couldn’t help but draw parallels to what I often see in both the startup world and the realm of fertility treatments.
In the world of IVF, I’ve seen countless couples who come to me with preconceived notions and expectations, shaped largely by what society and family dictate. There’s a pressure to conform, just as there is in the educational system, where children are often pushed into molds that don’t fit them. The same can be said for startups, where founders feel compelled to follow a certain path because it’s what everyone else is doing. But what if we stopped to challenge these norms?
What to Stop
Let’s start with what we need to stop. As parents and educators, we often succumb to the temptation of tuition in the primary years. It’s a practice that exists more to calm the anxieties of adults than to benefit the children. I’ve seen it time and again: talented children burdened with extra classes and tuition sessions, as if their natural learning abilities aren’t enough. This mirrors what I see in startups, where founders are overwhelmed by advice and consultancy services that promise the moon but deliver little of substance.
Another practice we need to halt is the transformation of every noticed interest into a structured activity. A child shows interest in art, and suddenly there’s a workshop, a worksheet, and eventually a certificate. In startups, this is akin to chasing every new trend or pivoting at the slightest hint of change. Both scenarios stifle the natural growth process, turning organic curiosity into a checklist item.
Moreover, we must stop asking, “How was the test?” before inquiring about the child’s day. This simple shift in focus can transform how children perceive their education, from a series of tests to an exploration of ideas. It’s similar to how investors should focus on a founder’s vision and passion before scrutinizing their projections and spreadsheets.
What to Start
So, what should we start? For one, let’s create a weekly stretch of free time long enough for boredom to ripen. Boredom is not the enemy; it’s the birthplace of creativity. When children are allowed to be bored, they come up with their own solutions, their own stories, and their own games. This is similar to how founders need time and space to think deeply and creatively about their business rather than rushing from one meeting or pitch to another.
We should also start using materials without tasks. Sometimes the best learning happens when there’s no agenda. Just as in startups, where the best insights often emerge when there’s no immediate pressure to perform or deliver. The same goes for reading aloud or being read to with no quiz at the end. It’s about enjoying the process without the constant need for evaluation.
Additionally, we should implement the sentence, “I don’t know, let’s see,” more often. It’s a powerful phrase that encourages exploration and acknowledges that not knowing is a part of learning. It applies to both education and startups, where embracing uncertainty can lead to innovation and growth.
Lastly, we need to start a family rule that ignorance can be spoken here. This creates a safe space for children to express their doubts and questions without fear of judgment, much like the environment we should cultivate for founders, where they can admit what they don’t know and seek help without stigma.
The Bigger Picture
In my experience, the biggest barrier to progress in both education and entrepreneurship is the fear of failure. Children are afraid of failing tests, just as founders fear the collapse of their startups. But failure is not the end; it’s a stepping stone. Children are born to learn and explore, and adults often get in the way by turning learning into a performance. Similarly, startups thrive on experimentation and iteration, not on rigid adherence to a business plan.
As I reflect on these observations, I realize that the most significant changes come from challenging the status quo. In both my medical practice and investment ventures, I’ve learned that trusting the process and giving people the space to grow independently often yields the best results. We must trust children and founders alike—give them time, resources, and the freedom to fail. Only then can they truly succeed.
So, what will you stop this week, in front of the child, or even in front of your team, so that they can see the trust you have in their abilities? Remember, our job is not to become a better school or a more controlling investor. Our job is to be a curious companion who answers real questions, supplies materials, protects free time, and gets out of the way of the part they can do themselves. Trust them. Nothing could be more simple, or more difficult.