I’ve often found that the most insightful moments during my IVF consultations come not from the diagnoses or the procedures, but from the questions my patients ask. Recently, a patient came in with a list of questions that seemed endless. At first, I found myself feeling a bit exasperated; after all, time is always in short supply, and there were other patients waiting. But as we delved into her queries, I realized how much value these questions added to the entire experience — both for her and for me.
This isn’t a new revelation by any means; it’s something I’ve experienced time and again. Yet, it never ceases to amaze me how a seemingly routine consultation can transform into a deeply meaningful interaction simply because a patient dared to ask. It challenges the comfortable belief that doctors are the sole experts in the room. In reality, the best consultations are collaborative efforts where the patient is as much a part of the process as the doctor.
The real challenge, though, is the mindset that many patients walk in with. They often believe that they should passively absorb whatever their doctor tells them, much like students in a traditional classroom setting. This passive approach is a relic of an outdated education system, one that I’ve long advocated for reforming. Just as students should be encouraged to ask questions and challenge the status quo, so too should patients in a medical setting.
I’ve seen firsthand what happens when patients don’t ask questions. They leave the clinic feeling confused, overwhelmed, and sometimes even defeated. This isn’t just a poor outcome for them; it’s a poor outcome for me as a doctor. It means I’ve failed to engage them in their own care.
As an angel investor, I’ve learned that the best founders are those who ask the right questions. They are curious and unafraid to question their own assumptions. This same principle applies to patients. When they ask questions, they are actively participating in their own healthcare journey. They are taking ownership, which ultimately leads to better outcomes.
I once backed a founder who asked more questions than any other I’ve met. At times, his relentless questioning was exhausting, but it was also enlightening. It forced me to think deeply about the investment, to consider angles I hadn’t thought of. Similarly, when a patient asks questions, it pushes me to reconsider my approach, to think critically about the treatment options I’m recommending.
Take, for example, the question of cost. Patients often hesitate to ask about the financial aspects of IVF. It’s a taboo topic, shrouded in discomfort. But when they do muster the courage to ask, it opens up a vital dialogue. It allows us to discuss not just the monetary cost but the emotional and physical costs as well. It gives me the opportunity to help them weigh the pros and cons and to be transparent about what they can expect.
This transparency is crucial. As I’ve written before in The Day an IVF Patient’s Resilience Inspired My Investment Philosophy, resilience is often born from understanding the full picture. When patients see the complete landscape — costs, risks, success rates — they are better prepared to handle setbacks. They’re not blindsided by the realities of IVF because they’ve been part of the conversation all along.
Questions also allow for a deeper connection. They create a space where empathy can flourish. In one consultation, a patient’s question about the emotional toll of IVF led to a candid discussion about her fears and hopes. It was a moment that reminded me of why I do this work. It wasn’t just about achieving a successful pregnancy; it was about supporting her through a deeply personal journey. This is something I’ve explored in How a Patient’s IVF Journey Made Me a More Empathetic Investor.
In both medicine and investing, listening is an underrated skill. It’s something I’ve emphasized in From IVF Consultations to Founder Meetings: The Unspoken Power of Listening. When patients ask questions, they are essentially inviting me to listen to their concerns, their fears, and their dreams. It’s an invitation to understand them better, to see them as individuals with unique needs and perspectives.
So, what should patients do instead of sitting quietly, nodding along to whatever their doctor says? They should embrace their inner inquisitor. They should feel empowered to ask about everything that concerns them, from the medical jargon they don’t understand to the success rates of the procedures they’re considering. They should question the side effects of medications and the long-term implications of different treatment paths.
As doctors, we should welcome these questions as opportunities to improve our practice. Each question is a chance to educate, to reassure, and to connect. It’s an opportunity to ensure that our patients are truly informed and engaged in their care.
In the end, the unexpected joy of patient questions lies in the shared journey. It’s about building trust and understanding, about seeing the patient as a partner rather than a passive recipient of care. It’s a lesson I’ve learned time and again, both in my clinic and in my investment ventures. And it’s a reminder that the best outcomes, whether in medicine or in business, come from collaboration and open dialogue.
In closing, I urge my fellow practitioners to cherish these questions. They are not interruptions; they are invitations to deepen our understanding and to improve the care we provide. And for patients, never underestimate the power of a well-asked question. It might just change the course of your treatment, and perhaps, your life.