One of the hardest things for IVF patients to do is to make decisions , and this is especially true after you have failed an IVF cycle , because it’s hard to think straight when you are upset.
You’re not sure whether you should continue with your treatment; whether you should take a break; whether you should get a second opinion; or whether you should change your doctor .
Here’s a framework which can help you make the right decisions, so you don’t get paralysed.
You need to use both your head and your heart when making these decisions because there is no simple right answer . Start by using your brains , by reviewing all your medical records. Get copies of all your medical treatment , including prescriptions, scan images, reports and embryo photos . Learn to educate yourself , so that you can decipher these – it’s not very hard. The more you understand about your medical treatment process , the easier it will be for you to plan your next cycle, and this will help you secure peace of mind that you’ve received high quality medical care.
If you don’t have this documentation , or if your doctor has failed to share the details with you , or is hiding information for you , or is not willing to give you photos of your embryos, that should be a big red flag , and no matter how much you love the doctor ( and even if you have paid the money in advance) don’t fall into the trap of the sunk cost fallacy and continue with the same doctor . If the doctor hid information from you in the first cycle , they will continue hiding information from you in the next cycle as well, and this means you’re in the wrong clinic !
Please get a second opinion , so that you have a better sense of what went right , and what went wrong, and an independent analysis will help you prepare better for your next cycle , and this will increase your chances of getting pregnant. One of the biggest mistakes patients make is that because they have paid for 3 cycles in advance , they feel locked in, and continue with the same doctor . Others believe that it’s too much work to find a new doctor, and want to continue with the same clinics because they already have a relationship with the doctor . These are bad reasons for continuing with a bad quality doctor, which is why you need to use your brains before you listen to your heart.
Now if you’ve received good quality treatment ( as proven by your embryo photos), then that’s great news, because you have peace of mind that the doctor treated you well, and did everything which was medically possible. Now the doctor can only control the process , not the final outcome, so if you like your doctor and trust him, then it’s a good idea to continue your treatment in the same clinic.
But before you start another cycle, you should go back to the doctor and ask whatever questions you have and clear your doubts ! Often the doctor may not feel any need to do anything differently because if it was a perfect cycle , and all you need to do is be patient and repeat it again until it works . Just because it didn’t work in the first cycle doesn’t mean that you need to make a change or do something differently the next time so please remember that, so please don’t pressurize your doctor into doing additional unnecessary expensive tests , such as PGT or ERA, because while these will help the doctor to make more money they will not help increase your chances of getting pregnant in your next cycle, because all these tests and treatments are riddled with lots of fallacies and flaws.
What can definitely help is to take a treatment holiday so you can clear your mind. During this gap , you will then have a better sense of whether you want to continue with your treatment back to back , or whether you just want to take a break , so you can bounce back and then decide what to do next . Many patients find that meditation helps them gain clarity as to what their next step should be , and just remember that if the last cycle didn’t work , that doesn’t mean that the next cycle will not work , so please learn to be resilient and to hang in there !
Please get your doubts resolved free using our chatbot which is powered by AI based on Dr Malpani’s 40 years of clinical expertise and experience at https://www.drmalpani.com/chat-w-chatbot/index.html. This will ensure you’re on the right path and potentially save significant costs in the long run.