Why I Always Ask My IVF Patients to Have a Plan B ?

Patient: Dr. Malpani, you said something during our last visit that’s been bothering me. You told us to think about a Plan B even before starting IVF. Does that mean you think our cycle is going to fail?

Dr. Malpani: I’m glad you brought this up — because this is one of the most commonly misunderstood things I say.

No, suggesting a Plan B does not mean I think your IVF cycle will fail.
It means I want you to be emotionally prepared, not emotionally blindsided.

“But it felt like you were being pessimistic…”

Patient: Honestly, it felt a little discouraging. We were hoping you’d say, “Don’t worry, it’ll work.”

Dr. Malpani: I completely understand that reaction. When you’re starting IVF, you’re full of hope — and rightly so. But my job isn’t to sell hope. My job is to help you cope with reality, whatever form it takes.

IVF is not a guaranteed outcome.
It is a probability-based treatment.

And the emotional toll of IVF doesn’t come from failure alone — it comes from unmet expectations.

“So why is Plan B so important?”

Patient: Then why do you insist on talking about Plan B even before we begin?

Dr. Malpani: Because IVF is an emotional roller coaster.

There are highs:

  • When eggs are retrieved
  • When embryos form
  • When the pregnancy test is positive

But there are also lows:

  • When cycles get cancelled
  • When embryos don’t grow
  • When the pregnancy test is negative

If you prepare only for success, every setback feels like a personal failure.

But if you mentally prepare for both outcomes, you stay grounded, resilient, and in control.

“But isn’t that being negative?”

Patient: Some people say that thinking about failure attracts failure.

Dr. Malpani: That’s a myth — and a harmful one.

Preparing for a Plan B is not negativity.
It’s emotional insurance.

Think of it this way:

  • You wear a seatbelt not because you expect an accident
  • You buy insurance not because you want a loss
  • You save money not because you expect disaster
  • You do these things because life is unpredictable.

IVF is no different.

“What exactly does a Plan B mean in IVF?”

Patient: When you say Plan B, what do you actually mean?

Dr. Malpani: It can mean different things for different people:

  • Another IVF cycle
  • Using frozen embryos
  • Taking a break before trying again
  • Exploring donor eggs or sperm
  • Considering adoption
  • Choosing to stop treatment and live child-free

There is no “correct” Plan B.

The right one is the one that aligns with your values, your limits, and your emotional wellbeing.

But won’t thinking about this reduce our hope?

Patient: I’m afraid that thinking about Plan B will take away our optimism.

Dr. Malpani: Actually, the opposite happens.

Patients who have thought through their Plan B:

  • Handle disappointment better
  • Blame themselves less
  • Don’t panic after one failed cycle
  • Make clearer decisions
  • Feel more in control

Hope is important — but blind hope can be cruel.

Balanced hope is powerful.

Some doctors don’t talk about this at all.”

Patient: Other doctors never mentioned a Plan B. They just told us to stay positive.

Dr. Malpani: That’s because talking about uncertainty is uncomfortable.

But avoiding difficult conversations doesn’t make them disappear — it only makes them harder when reality hits.

I’d rather have an honest, sometimes uncomfortable conversation before treatment than see my patients emotionally shattered later.

So what should patients do before starting IVF?

Dr. Malpani: I suggest every couple ask themselves three questions:

What will we do if this cycle works?

What will we do if it doesn’t?

How many cycles — emotionally and financially — can we handle?

There are no right or wrong answers.
There is only what is right for you.

“That actually makes sense…”

Patient: I think I understand now. You’re not being negative — you’re helping us stay grounded.

Dr. Malpani: Exactly.

My goal is not just to help you get pregnant.
My goal is to help you survive the IVF journey with your mental health intact.

Because success in IVF is not just a positive pregnancy test — it’s reaching the end of the journey without regret, guilt, or emotional trauma.

A Final Thought

I always tell my patients:

Hope for the best, but be emotionally prepared for every outcome.”

That’s not pessimism.
That’s wisdom.

And when patients approach IVF with clarity instead of blind hope, they make better decisions — and cope better, no matter what the result is.

Please get your doubts resolved free using our chatbot which is powered by AI based on Dr Malpani’s 40 years of clinical expertise and experience at
👉 https://www.drmalpani.com/chat-w-chatbot/index.html

This will ensure you’re on the right path and potentially save significant costs in the long run.

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