There are many reasons why decision making is extremely hard for infertile couples for one thing a lot of them don’t understand too much about human reproductive biology of fertility or what the various factors are and even though they will do a Google search they will often get lost in confuse because the reality is Google itself is fairly dumb because it will just guide you to various websites but finding the information and finding the right information from the right website is really your responsibility
the right way to arm yourself with the right information is to first go to your reliable website for example one at www.drmalpani.com and then ask the questions using the search engine on the website or the chatbot so that you know that the answers you are getting are reliable answers and then you can use this information to make a well informed decision
now even after you have that information decision making is still complex because it is not a decision which you can make in isolation because obviously you need to make a joint decision in partnership with your husband now it’s true that your husband’s role is that up for supporting actor but nevertheless it’s a crucial role and its very common for both husbands and wives to have different opinions about the urgency of having a baby or even whether to have a baby and went to have a baby so this is something you need to negotiate the good news of course is that as a married couple you used to negotiating with your husband and making decisions when both of you disagree for example the last time you decided where to go for a holiday so this is something which you can do with is and it’s usually a good idea to write the pros and cons of any decision down and then decide what the utility value is and it’s quite possible that the values will differ for you and your husband and then finally you have to come to a compromise so that you might decide that we will then try 3 try cycles of an iui first because it’s less expensive and if that doesn’t work we will then do IVF but at least this way you are both on the same page and you made a joint decision which makes it much easier because otherwise this could be an additional source of stress and that’s not helpful for anyone because you need to be able to support each other during this infertility journey and during your treatment
and again its not just your husband involved in this decision making there are other family members such as your parents and you are in laws and of course there is a lot of social pressure and your peer group and everyone else around you seems to be having babies then you also want to have a baby rather than be left out and left behind and you need to have a rational way of thinking through some of this stuff and usually what I tell people is the right way of making any decision is to first use your brains and make a list of all your options which is mutually exclusive and completely exhaustive and then listen to your heart so that you can prioritise what to do it’s important to have realistic expectations and understand that the technology is not 100% successful and that the future is uncertain and unpredictable and what you need to do is optimise for your future self so that we can’t control the outcome but we can control the process so that no matter what the outcome at least you will have Peace of Mind that you did your best
One final tip is that you need to remember as you get older is that you very rarely regret the things you do but you often regret the things you don’t do and that’s why you need to keep an open mind the good news about IVF is there is no medical risk involves you can do as many cycles as you like but it is true that the risk is financial because this is expensive treatment and emotional because your heart breaks every time this cycle fails and you need to factor this but the reality is you live in your own shoes and doctors are not mind readers and cannot make the right decision for you you need to make the decision for yourself but you need to factor in these non medical factors as well so for example whether you are insurance covers you are treatment or not or whether it will pay for part of an IVF cycle or since you need to consider when you decide and sometimes these non medical factors are as important in decision making as medical factors.
Need more guidance !
Please get your doubts resolved free using our chatbot which is powered by AI based on Dr Malpani’s 40 years of clinical expertise and experience at https://www.drmalpani.com/chat-w-chatbot/index.html. This will ensure you’re on the right path and potentially save significant costs in the long run.